Be With You Soon
by Guardian of the Moon
Summary: The war is over and Remus still misses Sirius. No matter how hard it gets, the tears won't come and he can't let go and move on... rated for suicidal content slash WARNING


With You Soon  
  
Remus sat on the floor, unable to cry even though he wanted, needed to. Sirius was...was...gone. He didn't want to believe it but it was the truth. Remus had always made himself see the truth, even when the truth was painful.  
  
Sirius was dead. That was it. He was dead like Lily and James. Like the Prewetts and the Bones. Like so many Remus had known.  
  
Remus felt like everyone he had ever grown close to had died. Sirius Black, the love of his life and his best friend. James Potter, his best friend and the brother he had never had. Lily Evans, the one who had been kind to him when he needed it the most. The Peter Pettigrew he had known in school, the sweet, ever-hungry friend who always asked Remus for help doing his homework. Everyone was dead. He was the only one left.  
  
Many, many years ago Remus had thought he was the last one when Sirius had been taken to Azkaban and Peter had been supposed dead. Then Sirius had come back.  
  
Remus had been happier than he had let on. When he was afraid that Sirius would be caught and the dementors would give him the Kiss, he hadn't been sure he would make it through losing Sirius again.  
  
And now Sirius was gone. Again. And wasn't unsure about whether he would be able to live without Sirius; he knew he couldn't.  
  
Remus glared out the window to where the waxing moon stalked him, waiting for him to let down his guard so it could take over him. All his problems seemed to stem from it. If he hadn't been a werewolf, Peter wouldn't have gotten away that night by the Whomping Willow. If he hadn't gotten away, he couldn't have helped Voldemort return to power. If Voldemort hadn't come back, Sirius wouldn't have died. The list of his blunders was endless. If Peter hadn't escaped, Sirius' name would have been cleared, Voldemort would be still a weak, helpless shadow in hiding, those Death Eaters, including Bellatrix Lestrange, would still be locked up in Azkaban and Sirius would never have been pushed through the curtain. Following this train of thought, it was all Remus' fault.  
  
Of course no one else blamed him - at least not to his face -, just Remus. Well, this was the end of it. The war was over, Voldemort was gone, and Harry was safe. It was only Harry who had kept Remus from following Sirius behind the curtain that fateful night. Remus owed a debt to James and keeping Harry safe would pay for some mere fraction of it. If it hadn't been for Harry, Remus would not be here right now. But now Remus was no longer needed so he wouldn't be missed terribly.  
  
Remus pulled his wand out of his pocket and pointed it at his chest. He paused. He really should write a note so people wouldn't think he had been murdered. He pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote on it.  
  
To whoever finds this, This is not murder, so do not worry. I just can't take this any longer. I am tired of being strong, dependable, calm Remus .I just can't do it anymore.  
  
You'll find my will in the second drawer on the right of the desk in my room. It has been updated recently and I believe I've covered everything.  
  
My best wishes to everyone,  
  
Remus Lupin  
  
He placed the letter on the floor next to him and pointed his wand back at his chest.  
  
"I'll be with you soon, Sirius," he whispered.  
  
"Avada kedavra!" As the green light flared up and surrounded him, he closed his eyes and smiled. I hope you're waiting for me, Padfoot.  
  
sob well, that was sad. I hope ya'll like it. Nako, you should be happy, it has a depressing end to it.  
  
Alternate ending done by Nako:  
  
He placed the letter on the floor next to him and pointed his wand back at his chest.  
  
"I'll be with you soon, Sirius," he whispered.  
  
And all of a sudden the door burst open and Sirius stormed in. "NO MOONY!!!"  
  
Remus blinked and ran sobbing into Sirius' arms. "OH MY LOVE I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!!!!!!!!111one"  
  
"No I am not. I am aliveeee. And now we can make passionate love."  
  
"Oh Sirius."  
  
violent ripping of clothing passionate lovemaking  
  
THE END  
  
rolls eyes That's Nako for ya...... sigh 


End file.
